A MUST READ FOR EVERY BRIDE AND GROOM!!

I think a lot of times brides don’t know what to spend their money on. They have this limited budget and already start thinking about where they should cut corners.

I get that.

As a newly wed that was on a budget myself, I get where the economy has more say about your wedding than you do - at least you think it does. I hear all the time ” Gosh if I could do it over again” and here come the shoulda coulda wouldas. ” I should have gotten the dress I really wanted, I could have gotten a videographer, I would have had a smaller wedding.”

What was that last one? You would have had a smaller wedding? I hear that ALL the TIME!

So many couples get pressured into a guestlist. Whether it be by their parents or feel like they have to include people from work , or their whole church etc. They end up spending over half their budget on the reception alone. HALF. No wonder you need to cut out all the stuff you really want so uncle’s Ted’s girlfriend can get a free dinner and booze. You don’t even know her name! Why are 12 people from work you barely know over their eating and drinking ( 12x $40 a head = 480 plus the service charge) When that money could have been put into the dress you really wanted or the dj that was just out of your budget.Why? For the sake of FEELINGS? Your afraid to leave someone out - aww how sweet of you. But this is your only wedding day. They’ll get over it and you probably won’t work there your whole life anyway. The marriage to your beloved should not be this political battle about pleasing everyone else. It’s time we got real about the big expenses for a wedding and start prioritizing what is important and should not cut corners on.

Lets talk about your dress. Feel free to be unique. I know wedding dresses aren’t cheap , but it’s the one dress you’ll remember forever. If you pick the cheap mass produced strapless that you had your first reaction to while mom and your 7 maids are there, 9 times out of 10 youre going to be saying your shoulda coulda wouldas in a couple years ( or less). It’s great to have mom there for sure but make sure to only bring a FEW (one) objective friend to make sure youre not swayed by everyone’s tears and agreeableness.Taste is different around the board. You may love that dress that you saw in a magazine that 1000 other brides saw and loved, which is perfectly fine. Just make sure to bring your own style to it, your own spin and personality on it. I got a dress that I found out later was on everyone and their momma! I thought it was unique and was so discouraged when I searched it online to find it to be one of the most popular gowns. Darn - I didn’t have enough time or money to try to get another one, so I decided to put my own spin on it. I went to a tailor and had some things added , had something things taken out, changed the neckline and the skirt - fairly inexpensive I got myself a brand new dress. One of a kind. I had a few girls even email me that saw my wedding pictures on my photographers blog about WHERE did I get my dress. I was a good feeling knowing that mine would be the only one made like that.

Lets talk about venue. About half of weddings in the midwest are done in churches. Usually it’s where the bride or groom grew up or just a church they liked. Perfectly fine. Sometimes those churches though have terrible lighting or restrictions on the photographer. Be sure to think about those things when booking your venue. You don’t want to have only balcony shots of your ceremony because their traditionalistic wedding coordinator has a strict mission against the photographer. Sometimes the lighting is low because that is the great personality of the old church that you loved and that is perfectly fine. But if its just dark and yellow because there are no windows and the place was free - start asking yourself if you really love the church or is “free-ninty nine” ruling your mind. Also think about where you are getting ready. Does it have plenty of natural light ? or are you tucked downstairs in the basement of that church in a children’s classroom where there are posters and drawing all over the walls? Your photographer cannot change your location for better pictures and spends a hour or more with your for those shots. Be aware that the putting on of your dress is an extremely important moment for most brides - that moment should have a beautiful place. You don’t have to completely change your venue, maybe you just get ready somewhere else.

Lets talk about your photographer. Great photographers aren’t CHEAP for a reason. Their total gear they have to use cost more than a lot of your wedding budgets. Just one lens can be $1500 - ONE. How is it that you think that is all you will pay for their services? They are the people that spend the entire day with you on their feet and capture the memories that you will share with your children someday - a lot of pressure. I don’t mean to get corny but this is one of the few things from your wedding day that will last. Not the food, not the booze, not the cake etc. Why is this an area that so many people settle? Don’t hire the $1000 photographer because it’s a good deal. You are likely hiring a person taking glorified snapshots that’s going to do a crap ton of “aesthetic” editing over your photos to cover up the mistakes they made. At the cost of your wedding day - not such a great deal after all is it?

And while I’m at it lets talk about your videographer ( if you even have one ) Many people think of our parents videographer when they consider one for their wedding day. The person that stands in the back of the church and does these really terrible pan shots over the cake to really crappy music ( Yea if things were the same I wouldn’t get one either). But do some research. These days they can literally make it like your own movie. You get amazing sentimental footage of your entire day and basically relive it they way you can’t with pictures. You cousin sally shouldn’t be the one in charge of it sitting 5 pews away, with her arm so shaky that you feel like you need to throw up every time you watch the video. You can have an amazing video and footage that would let you really relive your day years from now. Think about how far cameras have come in the last 20 years… you really think the videos are going to be the same? We live in a youtube world now. Video had become a very centric part of every industry including the wedding industry. This will not be your momma’s wedding video.

Lets talk about your florist. Now I might be bias on this because I had the most amazing flowers at my wedding that really created the setting we were in. A lot of people see that flowers are something that die so why would they spend a lot of money on those. However, flowers are classy and beautiful. They add to the pictures in every way and can really take your event from ordinary to extraordinary - if you care about what your event looks like. And you don’t even need a lot of flowers. Some are able to decorate with great paper good or other things that bring in their personality. DIY sites are great for those type of things and you could use the flowers to merely enhance the hard work you put into the details. The important part is that you actually think about it. That you think about your place settings and centerpieces and ceremony decor to reflect the couple. When you look back on this one day what would you like to see? It doesn’t have to be extravagant, just thoughtful , personal and beautiful - just like you.

Lets talk about your DJ . Do NOT- I repeat do NOT hire your friend with no experience to run an ipod. After you have spent all this money on your reception, that friend that you “think” has great taste in music is suddenly in charge of the psychology of keeping a party going. But they ALWAYS (trust me) always end up becoming a guest, end up having a few too many drinks and your party goes down the drain. A great DJ reads party structures, sees what songs work and what doesn’t. They know how to give the crowd what they want without giving in to Aunt Gina’s ” Chicken Dance” request ( a sure way to clear the floor ). Equipment and expertise are important here because this is your celebration. Be careful of the cheap DJ companys that hire Joe Blow. That guy thinks he’s a comedian and makes jokes (well received by the famous ” Cricket” chirp awkwardness ) and will be the one dancing like a maniac to the YMCA trying to get everyone to “jump in!”. I only write this because I’ve SEEN it . This is your big party! You only get to do it once - Hire someone professional so it will be the greatest night of your life!

I see over and over so many couples not get to enjoy their night because they invited God’s list of people and have to spend the entire night going table to table to make sure they said hello to everyone. The easy solution is don’t invite them. With catering already being around $40 a head ( plus a 30% service charge!!!!!!! ) A wedding of a 200 will break the bank quick! Cut the people that you aren’t close to and have a party with the people that know you the best. I heard a great saying ” The people that matter don’t care and the one’s that care don’t matter.”

Get the dress you want, have a gorgeous and fun celebration, and make sure to have the right professional to capture it for you!

- been to over 300 weddings…The Bridal Tree